00:00:01.730 - 00:00:15.240

You would think after 4 years. OK, so we are now recording and Brooke is now the host. Great.

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You're done. You can just end the meeting. [Perfect] Message on teams, so let me know how it goes, and I'm gonna go. [[crosstalk]]

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Thank you both so much. Of course, thank you. Bye. OK, great.

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All right, so I'll start with our first question. So if you could just tell me a little bit about yourself, your name, major, um, if you are a student at LMU, and then your pronouns, age, and then

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just something else that you want us to know or that you'd like to tell people about yourself. No worries. Um, my name is Eros Molina, my full name is

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Eros Guero Molina. I'm 26 years old. I am a current graduate student on my last year at LMU, so my major my-- is Master of Fine Arts

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in film and television production. Um, I guess what I tell myself is like I'm trying to be more open about it, but like I'm trying to let people know like people I work with,

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people who are really closely to I know say hey, like you know like I'm on the autism spectrum disorder, so it's like don't take it personal if I don't make proper body language or eye contact because I've noticed

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I've getting gotten petty complaints before in school here and the previous school, and I realized, right, you know, I'm being more open about it so that way you understand like, hey, don't take it personal.

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If you have a problem with it, that's on you. This is just how I am, so. Right. Awesome. And then do you have anything like fun or like

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a-- I know it's always like so cheesy when someone asks for fun facts, but do you have a fun fact or anything else you'd like to share for us to know a little bit about you?

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Um, I guess fun fact, um, I'm always very self-conscious about it because it's like I always wonder myself, what is a fun fact to some people. I know what are fun facts for me, but I'm like, what

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is fun fact for others, you know, it's like may not be fun at all. I will take any facts, even if it's not fun. I have no judgment here.

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No worries, um, I've, I've been playing video games for 20 years now, counting, and I'm really looking into like maybe writing a video game. Okay, wow, that's so cool.

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Do you have a favorite genre of the video games? Um, it depends, like, do you mean like horror or do you mean more of like platform or like playability wise?

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You know, I'm not super familiar with video games, but I know there's like, you know, I actually don't know what I meant by that, but I know there's like different types of games.

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I guess for those who play video games in every day would probably understand this then I think I don't know if it would, but I guess I'll say that first and I'll say the the the movie version of it. [Okay]

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Because movie version is like horror-thriller like that, but the video game version I like uh. First person or third person shooters with mixture of action RPG mixed in together with it, like I'm always a big

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fan of like I'm a sucker for games. I com-- I combine those elements together, and then my movie type for the video games I like is very more of like uh.

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Sci-fi, fantasy, something that kind of like just immerses me in the environment. I try to avoid horror. I mean there's a few horror games I really really

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like because they're not really scary, but they really teach me about the whole like-- survivability. [Yeah] I'm more, I'm more of those types like very action survival.

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Okay, that's-- that's really cool. OK, I'm, I, yeah, the movie version, I appreciate that. I, I needed that part, but I, yeah, that's awesome. Okay, great. Um, and then I know you mentioned you're a

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Master's student, but what is your, what else is your relationship to LMU? Or did you go there for undergrad or how did you find out about LMU?

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I didn't go there for undergrad sadly, like if I knew LMU existed, I would have applied. Um, I didn't know LMU existed until a few years when I was an undergrad at the Cal State Monterey

00:04:07.190 - 00:04:18.580

Bay where I was talking to um one of the heads of one of the faculty slash staff of-- of the department there, um. Uh, he was not really much of a very pleasant

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guy with people sometimes, but he did brought up LMU. I've never heard of it before, and he tried-- I like uh I don't know how to say, tried to dissuade, oh it's too expensive to join, like

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don't go there, um, but I'm kind of glad that's one of those advice I'm glad I didn't take from there cause it's a [Yeah] much better school. Yeah, sure it's got a loan debt, but um.

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I learned how to, you know, like, better communicate and talk to other people because of this, because of LMU cause I feel like LMU, it's the first institution. I've never been to a private institution before, but it's the

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first school I've ever been involved where I felt like you have a voice and people really, really give a shit what what what you have to say about things. Sorry [[crosstalk]] about that.

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No, no, no, please speak freely. No, we don't mind. Um, it's and so then you're enjoying your-- how long was your master's program?

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Uh, my master's program is a total of three years. Um, it might be an extra semester because I am a little behind because I have to apply for an internship or find a job in the industry that I'm

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working in, and I must complete 60 hours of an online course. I could do this job remotely. I could do it.

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I don't have to be on campus. I don't have to be in person, but once I finally completed that 60 hour requirement and I have an internship or job at the same time, [Mhm] um, I'll finally get my, my

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degree. I'm, [Okay] I'm finishing everything else, but it's just that's the only thing that's holding me back from my, my master's. And do you feel in has-- how has it been

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trying to find an internship or a job? Do you feel like LMU supports you in that? Um, I think, yes, one thing, yes, they do, and another thing as I don't know if it sounds like

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I've victimized myself, but it's like I feel like as a disabled student, I feel like I need a helpful reminder or some incentive besides the whole like dread of like, oh you're not gonna get your degree,

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or you're not gonna graduate, but it's more like I need someone to help me manage my time and responsibilities so I could have extra time to go into looking for internship because like there are people who my co-worker

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who have already done it more than once, which is good for them, you know, I'm happy for them. [Yeah] But there are people like me or there are those who are not taking it seriously.

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I'm not saying I'm one of them, but just they're still looking for it right now and-- And I know I'm one of those people right now where I'm still looking for it.

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I've been trying to like ha-- haul ass right now, like today when I'm done with this meeting, I'm gonna try to go back to the library and just apply for multiple positions.

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I've already written several cover letters, I just need to revise and submit them. Um, yes, I just think it's kind of like a hassle, but I think, but the yes part back to

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that, I think what's been helping me out is the CPD, the Career Professional Development, because I'm meeting [Mhm] Mandy Brockhaus, and then she introduced me to George Collins, who was actually a recent alumni from the school.

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They're both alumni, but George is a recent one, and he's been very helpful with me because he, he and I've been meeting with him like every week or biweekly. That shows [[crosstalk]] how serious I am cause he knows like,

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you know that I'm attending events because it's like I'm trying my best. I also got final projects and works and my thesis, so it's kind of like-- [Yeah]

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I feel like as a disabled student in the Master of Fine Arts and PROD [[Production]] program. There's not a lot of direction, or there's not a lot of like [[pause]]

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guidance helping me out, when you're not cognitively aware or don't understand something, where-- where it may not seem like rocket science to some people, but for me it's kind of like, yo I need kind of-- I need help,

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you know, like I [[pause]] need some guides of this and yeah, I think, I don't know what else to say. Yeah, no, that, that was great.

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I appreciate that. Um, and then we kind of talked about it, but what was your experience coming to LMU? Like, did you have any reservations before? I know you

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said your professor kind of tried to persuade you not to, and then you did and you were grateful for that, but did you have any doubts on like before you were enrolled or in the beginning?

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What was that experience like? Um, yeah, this was during COVID still, um, after I graduate, I was living with my grandparents, my paternal ones, who my dad and his, uh, current wife at the

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time were living-- living with-- living with them too, so it was like a bunch of us living with them. Um, to give you a brief description of the environment, it was not a safe place for disabled people or

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for people who are not understanding how the real world works, because no one in the household has patience for them or as a empathy or understanding like. When I came over down here and I heard-- and

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I heard the term, it takes a whole village to raise a kid, it makes sense because-- Turn out the whole village I was staying in did not want help, so I knew how a bad place I was, uh,

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for example, after I graduated during COVID, um, one of my uncles from my paternal side came over. And I learned the hard way that this guy is notorious, has a bad temper.

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He comes to [??] houses, starts fights with people, and then he just comes and starts to pick on me and then he tells me-- tells me off in front of the all the people saying that.

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Um, my degree was a waste of taxpayers' money that his daughter should have got the degree instead because she's working on the medical field and that she's trying to, they're saying that, he told me that if she got

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her degree, she could have helped, you know, up with this whole COVID case instead of me, plagiarizing from the Bible. My uncle's a Jehovah witness, and also I learned pretty

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quickly he's an alcoholic because he displayed a lot of behaviors, because being an undergrad I used to be, I used to be around with alcoholics, so I could recognize the behavior one.

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Yeah, I'm sorry to hear that. Yeah, and ironically, cause he's a Jehova witness, they're supposed to be humbled or, you know, I don't know religion is, but he's the opposite of that, and he told

00:10:01.460 - 00:10:12.380

me off and he told me if you're going to be in Hollywood, you're just selling lies cause everything come-- comes from the Bible, everything revolves around it. And nobody told him off.

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Nobody said anything. Even I was shocked cause it's like this came out of nowhere. And a few days later, my dad told me I

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should go say sorry to his daughter, cause apparently I hurt her feelings, which I was only being attacked the whole day by him. And when he told me off saying that

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it was a waste of time and money for my degree. For a moment I really felt like, is he really right?

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Because growing up in that family, people gaslight you all the time. [Mhm] When you grow up being gaslighted for 20 years of your life, it's-- It's hard to tell what is the

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truth and what is not until you move out of that environment and start finding your own truth and start explaining it, especially when there are people who resist and try to put you down.

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I'm sorry to hear that, but thank you for sharing this. Appreciate that. Yeah, I'm still trying to process through that stuff. Yeah, yeah.

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And do you feel like through your three years you've had a better experience just kind of distancing yourself from family and being able to kind of, I, I heard you say that you feel like people are really listen

00:11:18.310 - 00:11:27.210

to you at LMU and you and that you feel heard. Do you feel that that's been true for your past three years? Not everyone from LMU, but yeah, I've, I think a

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good amount, a good healthy amount of people. I felt like even teachers and faculty. Not every teacher I've met was very supportive of me sadly.

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Some were, I've had a case where I had to report one of their behaviors or misbehavior. Another one, a teacher, my thesis teacher currently told me, I told her about the experience two years ago with

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another teacher, and she said you should report the teacher and I was like, well, at the time I didn't know because this person really was gaslighting me. Yeah, so, make it sound like I was a terrible

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person, when in fact I was going through a lot of trauma at the time, like I, even I told the teacher what I was going through, but the teacher had no empathy.

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I'm sorry. They're going through their own shit too, but. They took it on me at the end of semester, so. Yeah.

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And so fair to you, so. Um, so my next question for you is how you kind of talked about it a little bit, but how would you describe yourself in relation to disability?

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My disability or just the disability in general, like the definition or just? In general you can start with your disability and then you can talk about kind of like how other people view disability, how you view disability, whatever

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you feel comfortable sharing or talking about. Um, for a long time, for at least twenty years of my life, well, for at least a decade, I didn't know, I didn't know I had a disability.

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I didn't know until 6th grade that my mom told me about my diagnosis, and I didn't know what, what that-- what it was. I was diagnosed in 2nd grade, but I was not

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clarified or told directly until 6th grade. Wow. Um, my mother also, I love her, but I also found out that she's also very ashamed of disability wise.

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She's not ashamed of me cause she's still supporting me and she's also one of the main reasons why I managed to get to LMU because she supported me. She gave me an environment, gave me shelter from my

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dad and other people who try to-- Stood against that. It's just, I also know there's still a taboo in the family where it's like I am the only disabled

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person in the immediate family, and right now I am the only-- One of the very few disabled people, or rather, I'm the only one clarified to be on the spectrum under my grandparents.

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And it is very, looking back, I realized just how much ostracized I was and how separated. I was my own family. A lot of us to do because my dad forbid me

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from hanging out with some people, part of us to do because of the fact that they people try to shelter me from the truth about myself, and they were-- people were just afraid of.

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They were so worried and scared of me that it was like, I don't know what was wrong. Like, I'm like, is there something wrong with me? Like, growing up, I've-- even in high school I started

00:14:11.290 - 00:14:21.040

question like, you know, I looked at my dis-- I looked at my disability as like a curse and disease for a long time, even an undergraduate, I just hated myself because I felt like I shouldn't have been born.

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Cause I never felt peace. I never had good stable relations with my family. I never had any friendships that lasted more than a-- more than a year or a few months.

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Um, when I moved to undergrad in Cals Mont [[??]] Bay, I finally built my first actual friendships. Like right now I still have friendships that had last for like 7-8 years in counting right now still.

00:14:43.450 - 00:14:51.170

Thanks, thanks to the people I met in that school. Um, I finally opened up some about my condition and they still accept me for who I am, and I'm very appreciated.

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It's just growing up with my family, both my mom and my dad's side. Especially my parents. It made it very hard to open about my disability.

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I didn't open about it until after my first year of grad school here. Mm. And it was very hard.

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It was like-- It's like a-- I don't want to compare it to another group. But I know it's, it's what I could see, it's very similar to how a person like who's LGBTQ comes

00:15:23.030 - 00:15:31.740

out of the closet. It's very similar to that cause like you're afraid of how people are gonna treat you and react towards you, [Right] and they know who you are.

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And-- It's very hard open about it because it's like, I know with my family they don't treat me in a way I hope-- I wish they treated me. And it's very hard for me to open up about

00:15:44.180 - 00:15:53.260

it, but now thanks to LMU, thanks to my friends who I'm still friends with the past several years. And thanks to some supportive family members who are open minded.

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Um, I've, you know, kind of became more publicly open about disability. I'm not ashamed to talk about anymore because for long time I was ashamed.

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I really was ashamed because I really felt like, I felt this guilt and shame for so long that I thought to myself, I'm like, you know, even in high-- in college I thought to myself like if people found

00:16:13.630 - 00:16:27.060

out and I got ostracized and treated worse, I would end my own life. Hm. Um, yeah, so it was uh-- It was pretty hard

00:16:27.060 - 00:16:35.990

to talk about it for the-- for the first 23, 24 years. Yeah, and thank you for-- thank you for sharing that really.

00:16:36.080 - 00:16:49.070

And do you feel like you're you-- you use the word shame, do you feel like that shame made it hard for you to speak up for yourself in terms of accommodations or workspaces and other spaces where you felt

00:16:49.070 - 00:16:59.610

like you were being ostracized for your disability or being [yeah] discriminated against? Yeah, I really-- I still feel this thing where it's like people tell me, why don't you say something about

00:16:59.610 - 00:17:11.990

it. I'm like, I don't know like how am I supposed to know or what am I supposed to say because it's like I-- I'll give you an example. This is one of those moments where it's like I

00:17:11.990 - 00:17:24.180

finally learned that opening up my disability actually worked. So after that teacher who wrote me an angry letter on bright space saying that I am acting like a child, that I'm just um being too insecure about myself

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or this and that, and the strategic and I was-- my disability. They knew that I was going through a lot of trauma.

00:17:30.480 - 00:17:40.520

I explained to them like what my family relation, my family history, and like what I'm going through, and this is what I'm trying to hopefully improve myself on. After that semester, I finally realized, you know what, I'm

00:17:40.520 - 00:17:48.350

just gonna take the risk. I'm gonna talk to my next teachers and tell them this is what I'm dealing with, this is my disability, and please help accommodate me because it took a whole

00:17:48.350 - 00:18:02.610

year for me to get accommodated through DSS. [Okay] Because du-- I couldn't even dia-- I couldn't even get accommodated right before I got accepted because apparently you need to see a new doctor, new therapist or something, [Hm] and it bothered

00:18:02.610 - 00:18:11.210

me knowing that my first year of grad school, I didn't get accommodated with DSSS until the next year. When I finally did, I finally had, you know, know I have the paperwork.

00:18:11.250 - 00:18:20.210

I had enough cause to, you know, explain myself. I told my teacher from my PROD 600, and she was very open about it, and then she asked me this

00:18:20.210 - 00:18:27.660

after we talked about she said, um, when you chose me as your teacher. Were you really thinking about it carefully? I said, yeah, and she's like, well, that's good.

00:18:28.440 - 00:18:41.480

Because that day she talked about she dealt with from disability stuff like that cause-- cause I knew. After being bullied by a teacher from my film school and undergrad, I knew I was to be very careful

00:18:41.480 - 00:18:50.530

and be very picky who I wanted to teach me, because who I'm stuck with throughout the semester or throughout the whole year is someone I need to make sure that they understand me. [Hm]

00:18:51.650 - 00:19:01.410

Not as a troublemaker, but as a human being. Right. And I chose that teacher and I'm very grateful cause she told me, cause I've had encounters with PAT uh

00:19:01.410 - 00:19:12.560

the production, P.A.T for [Production Administration], the ones who basically manage the student films who give-- give the approval the green light, saying that, okay, you're allowed to shoot your film or you're not, because you're breaking the law. [Right]

00:19:13.050 - 00:19:22.810

So a lot of times my conflict with them was like. The story, the script, change it, and then I finally change it, you know, and then another conflict is that

00:19:22.810 - 00:19:34.620

every single-- Every time my set ends, there's always like a paperwork or some signing [Right] like. Like check-ins, you know, it's like checking your names, like make sure [Yeah] everyone's like that.

00:19:34.740 - 00:19:46.690

It's just-- [[crosstalk]] It's always like little things I forget and like they get mad at me. [Mhm] The-- I noticed something that it's like, and I hate it too, because it also affects my internship application process

00:19:46.690 - 00:19:58.450

is that-- I'm not good at multitasking, and when I try to multitask, my brain starts to shut down or if, I get more fatigue mentally. And I realized I'm good at hyperfocusing on one thing

00:19:58.450 - 00:20:06.140

in front of me and shutting everything out, and then I jump onto the next thing if I had enough energy or like that. [Great] It's just I'm not good at multitasking where it's like

00:20:06.140 - 00:20:13.780

I jump to one thing and up to the next. It's like when I worry too much about, I get anxious, I start to like collapse, not physically but just [Yeah] Yeah.

00:20:14.580 - 00:20:22.990

And then my, my teacher, fun fact, it's like she's all sweet at first and then she becomes all like, she tries to put on a face, she tries to be all mean, trying to incentivize you.

00:20:23.000 - 00:20:27.790

It's so funny it's like I can just see through the bullshit. Right, yeah. The the-- that's the worst, yeah.

00:20:27.880 - 00:20:36.260

Yes, it's just the funniest, it's just like you're not scary, you're just being annoying. [Yeah] Right. Then she finally, after I shot my movie and she

00:20:36.260 - 00:20:43.740

knew that, you know, the set was out I had some problems because of communication and stuff like that, especially with PAT, and then she says, did you tell PAT that you're on the spectrum side?

00:20:43.820 - 00:20:52.260

I said no, she's like, we should tell PAT so they understand next time you make another movie cause she knows I'm, I want to be on the direct track. So I finally told PAT and PAT were like, oh.

00:20:53.460 - 00:21:00.050

And then they became friendly with me and then I'm just, I haven't had any problems with PAT since then. Because they understand it's like I'm not being lazy, I am not--

00:21:00.710 - 00:21:14.540

I'm not trying to make excuses. Some teachers thought I was, which was how things didn't work out between me and them, cause they just don't understand how people who are cognitively different function and I

00:21:14.540 - 00:21:23.920

haven't had a problem with PAT since then cause I've had enough, I've had, I guess I have enough fights, enough arguments with them [Yeah] and I realized, all right, there's no point in trying to like go things around, just

00:21:23.920 - 00:21:36.940

tell them the truth, tell them what you're dealing with and also just follow their rules because at this point they're the ones who like even as a director you-- we all work for somebody, so we all [Right] work for

00:21:36.940 - 00:21:45.850

PAT so another-- in one way or another. Great, yeah, thank you. That's a-- I definitely understand your um your stories with like the paperwork and stuff.

00:21:45.930 - 00:21:56.770

I just produced a short film through LMU um and it like [Congrats] thank you, and but like you said, I mean, for everyone, it's, it's a lot of work and it's a lot of being asked to be, you know,

00:21:56.890 - 00:22:06.480

do this now and do this now, and it's, I can definitely understand how that would be very difficult too, and so, yeah, I appreciate your story and that. That's why I have a hundred producers working for me.

00:22:06.690 - 00:22:14.390

Yeah. [Beacause it's like] I tell them straight up like this is how I work so I function this is why I have you involved because it's like what I can't do at the

00:22:14.390 - 00:22:26.550

time, I need someone else [Yeah] to help me with that cause it's like [Right] it's-- it's burning me out and I still wanna make films like I'm already like writing another movie right now [Great] and I'm trying to, I already know

00:22:26.550 - 00:22:34.620

I'm not gonna shoot it anytime soon, but it's just I would like to write it so I could pitch it, and I have something to look forward to after I graduate. That's awesome.

00:22:34.750 - 00:22:45.850

That's so great. What type of movies are you interested in making? Um. Before I came to LMU, I had trouble trying to figure out what I want to talk about because

00:22:45.850 - 00:22:55.570

I knew that, look, I know when I bring up this movie, people get really upset or they like it. [Mhm] I butt heads with anybody who dislikes it. Okay.

00:22:55.770 - 00:23:06.030

Ever since I saw the Joker movie, [Hm] it's changed my perspective how I want to tell my own stories, cause it's like I-- Look, I know people get the wrong idea when I say this, but like I resonated with

00:23:06.030 - 00:23:15.110

the main character throughout the first act, like what he was going through, how he was discriminated, how he's being pushed around, being bullied and ostracized and stuff like that. It's like I-- it's the first time I've seen a

00:23:15.110 - 00:23:23.690

movie in theaters where I'm like I've been through there, like I have literally been through there and I realized. When I came to the school, I realized this is the kind of movies I want to talk about.

00:23:23.850 - 00:23:33.130

So a lot of my movies were about people from like a neurodivergent or autistic perspective, dealing with things where like may seem simple to people, [Mhm] but it's not easy for us.

00:23:34.170 - 00:23:43.750

That's an inter-- that I think that's a great story. [Yeah] I think [[crosstalk]] people are too quick to judge and Joker is a good movie, so, you know. [Yeah] It's, it's a good movie and and [Yeah] and-- and then

00:23:44.030 - 00:23:48.990

I'm gonna watch the second one and if you don't like it, I just tell them suck it, you know, it's just like [Yeah] don't watch it. [[crosstalk]] Right, exactly.

00:23:49.270 - 00:23:53.220

It's like it's like for those who hate the Barbie movie, it's like don't watch it, you know, it's just like. Right.

00:23:54.070 - 00:24:05.400

Exactly. [Yeah, it--] And-- [Go ahead] No, no, no, please, please, please, I I-- [Yeah] So then I told my, I wrote my paper when I was trying to apply to this, I wanted to talk

00:24:05.400 - 00:24:14.200

about, you know, mental health experiences. I brought the Joker movie example cause it was like talking about, like showing people where like, I want to show the world what it means to be different mentally,

00:24:14.280 - 00:24:21.790

cognitively, where it's like showing that other people were dealing with that can literally just go point to the screen saying that I went through there or I've been through there. [Right]

00:24:22.200 - 00:24:35.360

Stuff like that cause it's like, when someone makes a cultural movie or an LGBQ movie or, or um a movie about um based on an actual fig-- figure or somebody, you always have someone to be like, oh

00:24:35.360 - 00:24:44.140

my gosh, I love it. Oh my gosh this, you know, it's like. [Yeah] I've seen so many of those movies where I'm like, I don't get it, [Right] like I haven't been there, like I, I,

00:24:44.420 - 00:24:54.620

I can't relate. [Yeah] It's the sad part cause it's like I've been in my, I spent most of my life um in my bedroom or alone or something and it's like I don't

00:24:54.620 - 00:25:04.020

know what that feels like. The closest thing I felt like it was when I watched uh this anime Neon Genesis Evangelion where I meet the main character where he's just like sulking, depressing by

00:25:04.020 - 00:25:14.390

himself, and I'm like, I've been there. Yeah. [Know what it feels] Right. I thought to myself, because of that anime, I thought since he's used mental health and science fiction, I was

00:25:14.390 - 00:25:22.230

like put them together. I thought to myself, why don't I do that? Yeah. Yeah, the-- so I right now thanks to George Collins from

00:25:22.230 - 00:25:32.860

CPD, I finally wrote my bio saying that look, being a big fan of science fiction since I was a little kid, so I'm always a sci-fi person in my family, [Yeah] but I realized I want to talk about my

00:25:32.860 - 00:25:46.430

experiences and experiences of disabled people in general like um right now I'm writing this-- I'm trying to-- I'm pitch-- I'm trying to pitch a sci-fi western for my thesis class, [Oh] so it's about like being autistic in a very-- in

00:25:46.430 - 00:25:56.810

a world where it's like it's so uncom--forgiving, it's dangerous because like you're not [[pause]] in the right mind space as everyone else, and I just want to show people how dangerous it could be

00:25:56.810 - 00:26:05.330

in the real world for someone like me who's been sheltered, who hasn't been taught how to be an adult yet, and I'm 26 years old and I'm still trying to be an adult.

00:26:05.500 - 00:26:13.390

I'm still trying to learn the taxes, I'm still trying to learn um. I don't have my driver's license yet, and I'm still trying to make time for that once I graduate.

00:26:14.070 - 00:26:19.210

Yeah. [Thank God there's a bus] That's why I love the city cause it's like there's public transportation. It's like, okay, and it's cheap too.

00:26:19.380 - 00:26:27.820

Yeah, [Yeah] I have an hour or 30 minutes or so, but it's like at least I won't get hit by a car and I just won't die in a car accident because I misread a sign or I couldn't even

00:26:28.710 - 00:26:36.440

focus on the road. Right. Thank you, yeah. Um, and then another question I had, so do-- were you

00:26:36.440 - 00:26:51.760

able to receive like disability service accommodations in high school and when you were told of your diagnosis in middle school, or did that not come until college or grad? I was under the IEP and I know they kept

00:26:51.760 - 00:27:03.180

the folder of me from like, from like 2nd grade to like high school. [Okay] End of high school, there was like a folder of all these files and stuff like that, so I

00:27:03.180 - 00:27:18.230

know, and I should put the pieces together when I was a kid, but I remember since it was like since elementary school, they would always like every week or every certain day or something, they would always um like

00:27:18.230 - 00:27:26.900

30 minutes of-- 30 minutes to an hour class time, I would be told to leave the class and go to an office where someone would run these tests on me. [Hm]

00:27:28.030 - 00:27:38.450

Like they say, like, like they grab a-- like say, like pretend as a rule it's like look at this, here, here, here, or they show me photos of like people interacting with each other with no words or anything.

00:27:38.470 - 00:27:44.610

They tell me what do you think you see? What do you see, you know? Yeah. And how was that?

00:27:44.640 - 00:27:51.800

And so you said as a kid you didn't really recognize that not everyone was going to those meetings as well. Only a few people.

00:27:52.080 - 00:27:57.860

Yeah. When did you kind of realize like what that might have meant for you? At what age?

00:28:00.020 - 00:28:11.640

I think, I think in high school I felt more ashamed of it because it kind of felt more of like, yeah, I'm being tested, but it's like for what cause, you know, it's like, cause at-- at the point I

00:28:11.640 - 00:28:20.240

finally protested to them and I just went straight up. I'm like, you guys doing the same thing to me every year no matter which school I am, and it's like, what do you-- what do you guys expecting because

00:28:20.240 - 00:28:27.940

I think it's a waste of time for me. Also, in high school, I didn't like some of the people who were there too cause they were like some of the students that were like dealing with their own

00:28:28.270 - 00:28:34.150

problems stuff like that they-- they try to bring their negativity to me and I told you I'm like I was like, yeah, I don't want to be around that kid or something [Yeah] it's like.

00:28:35.030 - 00:28:46.640

I don't know, it's just public schools, especially in Central Valley, like in, like, was it the Merced County where the town of Spinos [[??]] is at, cause that's where I went most of my elementary school was at.

00:28:47.330 - 00:29:02.140

They don't really know how to handle disabled kids and I always felt like they kind of just cram us together, put us in one room, and we all have our own little niches, our own little like [Right] ticks,

00:29:02.180 - 00:29:09.340

you know, like what bothers some of us, may not bother some people, it might bother me about some a little someone else, and it's kind of like-- kind of cooped up and it's just like I don't think it's

00:29:09.340 - 00:29:16.840

helping, you know. Yeah. Yeah, that's, that's fair, that's something that we've, you know, we talk about and we hear a lot about is

00:29:16.840 - 00:29:31.290

that a lot of schools, specifically public schools, don't have the resources nor do they put the energy, energy, towards helping each individual, you know, they just group all the students with disabilities together and then kind of teach the

00:29:31.290 - 00:29:40.210

same curriculum, but that's not, it's not helpful. It's not productive, yeah, it's just, it's just a repetition where it's like, what am I learning, you know, it's just-- I feel like I could have spent the time

00:29:40.210 - 00:29:47.710

in class reading a book or reading reading a lecture cause it's like, my time is wasted. Right. Right.

00:29:48.570 - 00:29:56.400

Yeah. Um, okay, let me see. And then, have you ever received an accommodation at a job?

00:30:01.490 - 00:30:12.230

That's a good question. I wanna say yes, but I also wanna say no. Okay. My current job, which is sadly ending in a week,

00:30:12.360 - 00:30:26.800

because my work study funds are running out, [Hm] so they're not gonna be able to hire me anymore sadly. I've been working there for a year now. I work at the school library and my bosses have

00:30:26.800 - 00:30:34.320

been very accommodating to me. They've been very friendly with me. They've been very syst-- you know, and fun fact, most of them are younger than me, [[crosstalk]] which is so hilarious.

00:30:34.560 - 00:30:45.640

It's just like. But we get along pretty well. [Yeah] It's like we-- they're very nice to me. They don't scream at me, they don't yell at me,

00:30:45.860 - 00:30:55.590

and they're good at giving constructive criticism, good feedback. [Mhm] Don't say, oh you're shit or you're being too slow. What's wrong with you, you know, it's like they don't say something like that to me like my other jobs

00:30:55.590 - 00:31:02.710

and which I don't talk to those people anymore because that's I'm like, yeah, I mean shit it on him, I'm still getting paid. [Right] It's like no fucking way I'm gonna talk to you

00:31:02.710 - 00:31:13.520

because you're an asshole. [Yeah] Do you think that our, I mean, our generation like younger ages as well, have become more accepting and accommodating to those with disabilities?

00:31:15.150 - 00:31:27.400

It depends on the environment and the [Okay] community, because, like I said before LMU, I've met people around my age. I grew up in Central California almost my whole life

00:31:27.400 - 00:31:47.620

before I came here, and [[long pause]] I know when it comes to school, I've been picked on a bully from 7th grade all the way to my senior year in college. A lot of times, always the people around the

00:31:47.620 - 00:31:56.590

same age as me, or around that age, or a few years older, a few years younger, or whatever, you know, it's just like it's always been that. And I've, that's why I pushed myself away from people

00:31:56.590 - 00:32:04.790

cause I already know it's like, if I can't fit in or I don't understand human emotions, this and that, and they don't understand me there and it's like, what's the point, you know, what's the point if we're gonna be

00:32:04.790 - 00:32:13.780

fighting? Right. And-- I finally find more people down because LMU, the grad

00:32:13.780 - 00:32:20.700

program, they're very strict who they get, who they bring in the program. I'm kind of glad they are because it's like I may not get along with everyone in my cohort, and

00:32:20.700 - 00:32:27.180

I'm not sure, I'm sure not everyone in my cohort would get along with me, but I finally met people who are tolerant of me, who understand me, or not judging of me.

00:32:28.120 - 00:32:40.330

I wish I could say that with every professor I meet, but I'm just grateful, you know, it's like I need more open-minded people like right now I've met um last semester, I met an animation students who're doing their thesis.

00:32:40.380 - 00:32:50.880

They're also the same disability as me, and I think, I think the student and I are on good terms with each other cause it's like we have a-- It's one of those things where it's like, I don't feel

00:32:50.880 - 00:32:57.010

ashamed of my disability. I wanna meet someone else who's in the SFTV program also if it's too that I'm kind of like-- I'm like saying hey, I, I understand. [Yeah]

00:32:57.280 - 00:33:06.470

I can-- I, I-- I feel you, you know, it's just-- No-- no matter what their race, gender, sexuality it's like I can understand. [Yeah, cause you--] It's so funny, it's like.

00:33:07.780 - 00:33:12.500

Sorry, go ahead. No, no, please, please, please finish it. I didn't mean to cut you off. Because growing up in Latino community.

00:33:13.190 - 00:33:23.920

I've always yearned for a long time that I would meet other Latinos or [[??]] who could understand me as a human being, who could, you know, it's like, hey, like this

00:33:23.920 - 00:33:33.320

guy, [[??]] going through stuff. [Right] He needs help, you know, he needs this and that. And so, I get shut off and instead I've been told that I'm just being--

00:33:35.750 - 00:33:48.590

Forgive me of these foul languages because this is what they call me, bitch, pussy, little girl, faggot, gay. Gay is one of most common ones, but it's like anything that I'm-- because I'm not masculine, so it's like they

00:33:48.590 - 00:34:02.890

automatically label me or throw me into that stigma cause there's no in-- in Latino perspective there's no disability, there's no mental health, there's none of that. It's like, oh, it's either you're straight or gay, that's

00:34:02.890 - 00:34:10.720

it. It's like this-- close minded-- mentality where it's-- it's just like, you know, there's more to it than, than people's sexuality.

00:34:10.800 - 00:34:16.480

It's like it's other things that no one wants to talk about. Right. Right. [Yeah]

00:34:17.040 - 00:34:29.700

Yeah. And do you find that you've mentioned that you've met other students at LMU who also have disabilities, do you find that LMU has kind of fostered a community for

00:34:29.700 - 00:34:38.880

people with disabilities to be with one another and support each other, or do you think it just is kind of like word of mouth? Or you know, just talking with one another.

00:34:39.090 - 00:34:48.420

Yeah, I think it's-- it's more the latter because there is no-- This gets me really upset and angry when I think about it. I'm not taking it out on you, don't worry.

00:34:48.570 - 00:34:57.530

No. When I see my cohort and I see other people's student films, you're the most common, like I said before, I was like, yeah, it's great for them, but for

00:34:57.530 - 00:35:09.470

me it's like I don't find films I can resonate with that much, very few sadly. I see a lot of films because like you could tell within the first year in the SFTV program like what

00:35:09.470 - 00:35:26.340

kind of groups coll-- collide. So like there's the women group, the female groups, there's the LGBQ groups, there's like Asian groups, there's black groups. Latin A or disabled mental health, neurodiverse, which is something

00:35:26.340 - 00:35:37.910

that I can fit any of those categories. There's no concentration or group dedicated to that. [Yeah] I've seen a few filmmakers who do, but they focus on like women's films where it's like they want

00:35:37.910 - 00:35:48.240

exclusively women working on that set. I haven't even met a Latino filmmaker who's dealing with disability and is open minded, you know, saying, oh yeah, I could use this and that.

00:35:48.660 - 00:35:53.940

I had to be the one where it's like, all right, I'm gonna have to do this. Yeah. I have to make this movie or I had to

00:35:53.940 - 00:36:01.510

do the story, and I had to show people where it's like, I'm not gonna be picky on your race, gender, sexuality or whatever. It's just as long as you're not an ableist, and

00:36:01.510 - 00:36:09.590

as long as you have empathy and understanding of the people who are different from you, especially me in the directly dealing with disability, you could come on set. Right.

00:36:09.920 - 00:36:18.520

And how do you feel as like a, a way maker for disability voices and for Latinx voices for those with disabilities? Do you feel like a waymaker?

00:36:18.560 - 00:36:27.030

Do you feel like you're kind of creating a revolution and change, or do you feel like it's just like been too long and someone had to do it, you know, how are your feelings around that?

00:36:27.610 - 00:36:35.870

I think it's a mixture of both. Yeah. [It's--] Back in undergraduate, when I was graduating, I was studying Spike Lee a lot and I noticed when I see

00:36:35.870 - 00:36:44.910

his behavior, and his, and his, what he puts in the movies. A lot of times I feel like it's a mixture where it's like it's revolutionary in some moments of humanity and creation where it's like people can resonate even

00:36:44.910 - 00:36:53.110

though they're not the same ethnicity, and there are times where he is more of like just like right in your face because he [Right] wants to show you it's like I'm not gonna hold back anymore.

00:36:55.130 - 00:37:06.760

As I'm getting older, I'm watching these movies and then I'm kind of realizing it's like. Am I teetering on both sides of that kind of mentality where it's like, in my--? Like, if I mention

00:37:06.760 - 00:37:16.900

the Barbie movie. There's a lot of moments where it's like it's right in your face, and there are moments where it's not. I'm trying to lean more of like the whole subtlety

00:37:16.900 - 00:37:26.140

where it's like-- Also, maybe in your face, but not too much, but just-- I want it to the point where it's like I want people to really start thinking because--

00:37:26.840 - 00:37:43.840

Um, I used to be part of the um, what it's called? The Equity Inclusion Council? [Hm] Was still around. Um, they had a summit, or not summit, but they had like a panel where they brought, uh, people from

00:37:43.840 - 00:37:54.600

the industry who were involved. I invited one of my cohort members who is an entity [[??]] coordinator who's queer, disabled, same disability as me, and then I brought in another student, um,

00:37:55.390 - 00:38:04.910

as a TV graduate or at least the alumni who's blind but made have-- made her thesis film while she was blind. {Hm] Um, I invited her too, and I saw these other

00:38:04.910 - 00:38:15.430

people, these other, a lot of them were actresses, but I started to realize like, one, is, they're, they're-- we're both-- they're all disabled in different ways, but like I connect, I add them on LinkedIn, I mean I add him

00:38:15.430 - 00:38:24.820

on Instagram so like cause I follow him because I realized, you know, it's like. We're not so different. Yeah, we're different backgrounds, different race, gender and stuff like

00:38:24.820 - 00:38:36.750

that, but it's like some of us have the same disabilities, some of us have sim[ilar]-- struggle and frustration like, one, by the name of-- Forgive me if I'm butching her name wrong.

00:38:37.490 - 00:38:50.980

Kirsten Kelly, um, a disabled actor who I follow when I have time to see what she's been up to, cause I'm always curious what she posts, what she says, because she mentioned how-- that there's a lot of

00:38:50.980 - 00:39:01.900

actors where it's like you see ones like in a wheelchair or see those with like robot arms like the Winter Soldier or Mad Max Fury Road, but they're not disabled in their life, they just use CGI for that.

00:39:02.690 - 00:39:13.670

So she brought up those ideas where I'm like, it got me thinking for days straight, and I'm like, what if I could do something like that, where it's like-- Cause I don't know if you've seen Logan, there's a

00:39:13.670 - 00:39:21.880

group of bad guys like that with like cybernetic arms and limbs, stuff like that, chasing Wolverine and his family. I thought, what about something like that where it's like

00:39:21.880 - 00:39:33.530

you could cast actual like amputees, people who were [Yeah] just saying this and that and start having visual effects where it's like you could do like motion capture where it's like you have other performers like stunts doing like--

00:39:34.330 - 00:39:47.440

um, the-- the synthetics whilst the actual actor themselves acting and performing, knowing that they are disabled, but it's like you see the arm moving around, it's not, it's not really their arm, it's just CGI. [Right]

00:39:47.730 - 00:39:55.970

Stuff like-- [Got it] You brought up that point and that's why I kind of figured that kind of idea like what if I write something like that, which I'm trying to write too and put in like me like in a

00:39:55.970 - 00:40:03.950

video game or something. Yeah, that's awesome. I think like we-- you kind of mentioned there, or you had mentioned at the start of the interview uh of

00:40:03.950 - 00:40:16.750

our conversation interview as well, like just kind of about the importance of representation. I think something, uh, especially within filmmaking, cause, um, disability representation is part of my work, like working in film as

00:40:16.750 - 00:40:27.100

well, and my like passion as I continue to figure out what career I want to go into, but I think a lot of like an issue, as you said, it's like, you know, you might hire someone

00:40:27.390 - 00:40:39.110

to play an actor in a wheelchair, but why wouldn't you hire someone who's actually, you know, in a-- someone who is disabled and is in a wheelchair, you know, and I think that's a really important part of conversations

00:40:39.110 - 00:40:44.830

that need to be had. It's like, what does representation look like and how are you showing it? How are you--

00:40:45.090 - 00:40:55.330

you know, it's one thing to just show it just to say like, oh, you know, well we had an actor, we had a character with a disability, but why not hire an actor with a disability or a filmmaker

00:40:55.330 - 00:41:07.380

or crew member, you know, it's important that everyone's stories get told, you know, behind the camera in front of the camera, so I really resonate with what you're saying. Thank you, yeah, it's just um--

00:41:10.040 - 00:41:22.990

I kind of felt, I started thinking about it like why hasn't this happened [Mhm] because I looked at my thesis and my casting director, she and I talked for-- reflecting on it, and then she told me when I casted

00:41:22.990 - 00:41:32.420

you-- when I started casting for your movie, I have never had this situation before this, problem before where it's like. Cause the movie is about a Mexican family dealing with

00:41:32.420 - 00:41:44.750

an addict in their family and loosely based off of an actual family of mine, [Mhm] um. I wanted to make sure we have Hispanic cast members, Three characters, a mom and two sons. [Yeah]

00:41:45.040 - 00:41:55.630

Like from Mexican family, and I pitched it saying that this is a Mexican American family, you know, it's like this and that. And we pitched it, the movie living on, what's that--

00:41:55.630 - 00:42:03.870

what's that popular casting website that SPO often offers to students? Backstage? [Backstage, yeah] Yeah, yeah.

00:42:04.770 - 00:42:17.840

She told me she has never had this problem before backstage where it was like, so many people wanted to play the sons. Only a few apply for the mom who are qualified

00:42:17.840 - 00:42:29.650

to apply for the mom because the mom is supposed to be like around the middle ages and that. We've had people who look like college students trying to play the mom or people were not the-- the ethnicity. [Yeah] Or

00:42:29.650 - 00:42:38.640

even worse for the sons, where it's like, oh, I was told I look like Latino, multiracial this and that, so I was wondering if I could get cast in your movie? And then part of me is like I'm telling my--

00:42:38.640 - 00:42:45.600

I'm telling my casting director, or this, and I'm told-- I'm like. I, I don't think we should do this, and she's like, she told me straight up like just be authentic,

00:42:45.600 - 00:42:50.960

or she said something like be authentic to what you want to say, and I was like, okay, you know, it's like, yeah, cause it's like I wanna make sure it's--

00:42:52.050 - 00:43:00.970

It's real, you know, it's like. It took us to the very week of production to find all our cast who are Hispanic. Hm.

00:43:02.400 - 00:43:14.160

Because I have never got so many complaints about people who applied for the role of the mom on backstage, but declined in the end, because one of our complaints we got was that, oh, she seemed like a stereotypical

00:43:14.160 - 00:43:21.820

mom and I don't want to play that, or I don't want to see that in a movie where I'm like, there's no father. There's no father. [Yeah]

00:43:22.070 - 00:43:32.270

Like, there's a reason why there's no dad, and right now she's the mom. Yeah, she may be the one cleaning up this and that, but remember she's taking care of two sons, [Right] and

00:43:32.270 - 00:43:42.560

one of them has a history of substance abuse, so it's like there's a reason why she's in the movie because she may not seem-- Her lines or her scene may not seem a big

00:43:42.560 - 00:43:51.560

impact,[ Mhm] but she's the reason why that keeps her family together. [Right] A reflection of my own mom too, cause it's like my mom's, like my siblings, I don't get along

00:43:51.560 - 00:43:58.030

with each other a lot, but she wants us together and she's trying to fight to be the peacekeeper and like that's what I said this-- this is the mom's, the peacekeeper.

00:43:58.330 - 00:44:07.420

She may seem like you're, she may look like your cleaning lady or whatever you want to say about her, but it's like she's-- She's the glue to this family structure.

00:44:08.500 - 00:44:15.640

Right, that's, that's an incredible story. I can't wait. I hope one day I can watch it and-- [Yeah] I knew, I knew that.

00:44:15.980 - 00:44:25.090

We're screening it this-- this May, so we're hoping. [Okay] Yeah, we're, we're hoping to finish the movie, so we're just my-- my post crew and I, were just trying to like keep in touch.

00:44:25.660 - 00:44:33.410

Yeah, well then I'll definitely come check it out. I love watching the undergrad and the grad uh thesis, so I will definitely come and check that out. That's exciting. [Thank you]

00:44:34.100 - 00:44:46.050

Um. Going back, I, you kind of mentioned this, and so I'm sorry we've kind of switched from this [[crosstalk]], but um what level of satisfaction do you have with accommodations and

00:44:46.050 - 00:44:56.190

giving com-- the process of it? I know you said it took you almost a year. Yeah, I still have mixed feelings about that, a little disappointment because I never had this problem before where they

00:44:56.190 - 00:45:07.110

said, oh you need to be reevaluated, you need to be like rediagnosed because we want to make sure that our accommodation is up to date for you, which I'm like, I've never had to be rediagnosed or see another

00:45:07.110 - 00:45:14.580

doctor again just to be-- you know, check mark and stuff like that, and I didn't have the time or resources that I had a job either. [Yeah]

00:45:14.870 - 00:45:26.660

I was going through a lot of depression because I was, I left a very abusive family household, just fresh out of it for long, so long that it's like I didn't know how to have-- I had a sense of

00:45:26.660 - 00:45:35.510

freedom, I didn't know understand how to be free. Right. Yeah, thank you. And do you feel satisfied with the-- so you do

00:45:35.510 - 00:45:44.020

you-- sorry, and you don't have to answer but do you have accommodations now through DSS? Oh yeah, yeah, finally [Okay] after I think I said I think I mentioned already like after my first year and

00:45:44.020 - 00:45:55.420

I finally got accommodated, [Okay, great] [[crosstalk]] had the cause and stuff like that, um. I still feel like the more classes I take, the more I realize, okay, I realized there was more accommodations

00:45:55.420 - 00:46:05.890

that I didn't know I needed, but I-- I feel like I should have, for example, um, I took a class, a PROD class last year where the teacher was a little bit upset at the end of the semester.

00:46:06.020 - 00:46:10.090

He knew I was disabled, but he was a little upset. He's like, why didn't you say something that you need help with this and that?

00:46:10.100 - 00:46:16.260

And I told him this. I'm like, well, I'm handling other things and I didn't know this would be an issue because I didn't know I had to remember all of this.

00:46:16.850 - 00:46:23.390

Yeah. And I told him, well, I think can we record this lecture [[??]] and said, yeah, sure, and I recorded on my phone, video wise so I know

00:46:23.390 - 00:46:33.030

what was going on. I could rewatch it. This semester I'm taking an unre-- [[??]] class and the teacher, without needing none of my accommodations, he just zoom records

00:46:33.030 - 00:46:40.080

the lecture. Hm. And I have access to on brightspace whenever I'm lost whenever I need help, he tells me to look

00:46:40.080 - 00:46:48.360

at the lecture. Yeah, it's time consuming because a lot of these are two hours each, which I'm like, oh dear God, you know, [Yeah] but it feels more like 40-- 40 minutes

00:46:48.360 - 00:46:56.560

or 50 minutes, I wouldn't complain watching them. That's great. That's, that's a very helpful resource, and I do, yeah, I feel like that's important.

00:46:56.650 - 00:47:07.080

I, I think a lot of people would also benefit from having lectures recorded. Sometimes, you know, it's hard to kind of, to remember everything and yeah, that's, that's an important thing that you

00:47:07.080 - 00:47:20.040

had mentioned, so thank you, yeah. Um, I think I just have one or two more questions, but-- [Okay] What is one thing or like a, well, I'm trying

00:47:20.040 - 00:47:30.520

to think. You see, we kind of, I really, I really I just like I've loved talking with you and hearing your stories and you opening up about your family life and

00:47:30.520 - 00:47:40.640

how it's inspired you to be where you are now and so I've a question for you, um, where do you see yourself in maybe five years? What does life look like for you as someone with

00:47:40.640 - 00:47:50.830

a disability in five years or just as a filmmaker? What do you thinking? I hope I don't come off angry or whatever when I say this like it's like I, I really pray to

00:47:50.830 - 00:48:00.630

God that I've not given up. I've, I've been chasing this career path for almost a decade now. And, ever since 2015.

00:48:01.540 - 00:48:10.730

So yeah, it's almost ten years since I've been wanting this, this career path, so. I've gone far enough, there's no turning back, and I-- there's no way how I'm gonna give up on this

00:48:10.730 - 00:48:21.500

because I already know like the one thing about me that's made me stood out from my undergrad was that I never give up, even I was the worst. And making, making this content, making movies, stuff like that.

00:48:21.800 - 00:48:32.720

I never gave up on it and I'm-- now I made better movies, now I, I can now pitch stories like lack-- like tell me, someone tells me oh pitch a story really quick and I'll try something

00:48:32.720 - 00:48:39.840

quick like boom, you know, like I've tried doing that. Just a sub plan idea where it's like all right this is what you can do cause I've been taught this in PROD classes.

00:48:40.980 - 00:48:49.320

I am hoping, and I pray to God, this, I would never give up on this, that I'm being an internship. I already have experience working in the street, I've already

00:48:49.320 - 00:49:00.640

have a network. I'm continually meeting with CPD cause they guarantee me that they could help me after graduation, which I'm very grateful for, cause that's meeting with other career advisors from other

00:49:00.640 - 00:49:12.780

schools, helped me get in LMU, which I'm very eternally grateful for what they've done for me. And I'm hoping that with my Western or whatever project I'm writing, I could actually have it submitted to a

00:49:12.780 - 00:49:22.460

lab to help me workshop with it, sign it, and then hopefully raise enough money or get a studio to buy it and I could-- Mhm. That's awesome.

00:49:22.800 - 00:49:30.200

That's a great story. I hope that all works out for you. Yeah. Um, and then just last question here, what is one

00:49:30.200 - 00:49:37.770

thing or one final takeaway that you'd like to share with us? If there's anything else you feel like you wanted to share, that's a part of your story.

00:49:44.460 - 00:49:55.690

I'm hoping that what I put on screen, not only because I could resonate with it, but I hope I can encourage not just disabled people, but also non disabled people.

00:49:56.540 - 00:50:10.080

To bring issues of these. To, to actual, you know, the real world, cause I'm also trying to write a-- write a, another sci-fi story where I kind of want this to be a commentary

00:50:10.080 - 00:50:23.590

where it's like the dangers, or not, maybe not a sci-fi movie like a, like just a family drama. Writing about the dangers of what can happen if family ignores and neglects a child with special needs, and

00:50:23.590 - 00:50:33.790

what kind of consequences it could lead to, and I, I want something like this to really, really open people's eyes cause it's like this is not something I've also been through before so I, I never been through that

00:50:33.790 - 00:50:47.080

too, and I want people to really think about it and let go of their pride, because I think in the Latino community, especially my family, pride is like the biggest, the biggest sin, and it's something that has blocked

00:50:47.080 - 00:50:54.610

me from empathizing with me and has also made it difficult for me to empathize with people who won't empathize with me. Yeah.

00:50:55.730 - 00:51:06.080

Eros, thank you so much for sharing with me today. And any other thoughts, any final, any other? Sorry if I come off a little bit, you know.

00:51:06.400 - 00:51:13.650

Oh. That's not just, it's something I kind of wanna get off my chest. No, please, nothing that you said was, I-- we are

00:51:13.650 - 00:51:23.920

really just looking for authenticity and you gave us that, and I've just really admired your story and I've loved having this conversation with you. Um, I think your story will benefit a lot of

00:51:23.920 - 00:51:35.550

other lions and students, and I'm so grateful that if you allow us to share your story that other people will hear your story too and see your life's work and what you hope to do in the future and

00:51:35.550 - 00:51:47.290

how, and hopefully that will inspire everyone to go and watch your screening in May too, and go and support you because we need to support more. More writers and directors and people like you, so thank

00:51:47.290 - 00:51:55.480

you for sharing your story. Thank you. Of course, well, I hope you have a great afternoon. We will definitely be in touch just with sending you

00:51:55.480 - 00:52:04.670

the transcripts and things of that nature, so they just look out for some emails from us, and if you have any questions in the meantime, please feel free to email the disability archive email.

00:52:06.490 - 00:52:09.740

Thank you so much. Have a good afternoon. You too, bye.